2011 was a hard year for me (for personal reasons like not being sure if I could handle having another baby, deciding we should have another baby and then having a harder time getting pregnant, Brian travelling a ton, pregnancy...need I say more, and then adjusting to life with 3 kids, etc.) but it also brought me some of the greatest joy. Another reason it's been hard is that I feel like our little neighborhood has been put through the ringer. There were days where I looked and Brian and asked "Seriously, what is going on?" Just in the last few months there have been health problems like cancer and brain tumors, job loss, late-term miscarriages and a suicide just to name a few.
There was a glimmer of peace and hope during Christmas and with the new year came the hustle and bustle of getting everything back in order. I had thought of new year resolutions but hadn't had time to really sit down and decide on changes to make, things to do, etc. Then this week happened...
Brian lost his job during a RIF (reduction in force) at his company in an attempt for them to end their fiscal year with better looking numbers. This kind of thing was happening all around us but I honestly never thought it would happen to Brian. My first reaction, of course, was shock and freaking out. Then we read through the severance packet, realized we had insurance until March and money to cover us for a bit.
Support from friends and family came like a huge wave from the ocean crashing onto the beach and there was a flood of new job opportunities. Someone I follow on Twitter shared a quote on faith. I really liked it and looked up the conference talk. I found it very fitting:
"Because of the conflicts and challenges we face in today’s world, I wish to suggest a single choice—a choice of peace and protection and a choice that is appropriate for all. That choice is faith. Be aware that faith is not a free gift given without thought, desire, or effort. It does not come as the dew falls from heaven. The Savior said, “Come unto me” (Matthew 11:28) and “Knock, and it shall be [given] you” (Matthew 7:7). These are action verbs—come, knock. They are choices. So I say, choose faith. Choose faith over doubt, choose faith over fear, choose faith over the unknown and the unseen, and choose faith over pessimism." -Richard Edgley Oct 2010 Conf.
So simple and yet sometimes the hardest thing. I have decided to choose faith in this time of uncertainty realizing that the Lord has never let me down. I will do the things I need to do to strengthen my faith but overall my new year's resolution is: Choose Faith.
We appreciate so much all the prayers, thoughts, shows of support and leads on jobs. I have faith that the Lord is choreographing something grander than we could even imagine.
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